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Wednesday, February 22, 2012

The single mom vs. the married mom

Over the years I have watched a few of my childhood friends become single moms, not by choice but by choice of men to procreate with. So, of course I've been an ear for many single mom moments, single mom breakdowns and single mom lectures. Don't get me wrong I have a huge place in my heart for sympathizing with single moms doing it alone but with me being a married mother I will never be able to truly feel or experience the trials that they endure as single mothers. now for a quick second I believed that all mothers share some type of trial when it comes to sacrifice and subconsciously putting yourself second: financially, physically and mentally. But today marked my change of heart. While talking to a friend I shared with her the trials that mothers endure as she vented to me her frustrations about financially doing everything alone and how the sacrifices seemed a bit overwhelming. So naturally my response was: we as mothers always sacrifice what we want financially and what's financially sensible (when we have children) but coming from the perspective of a married mom (with financial help) it did not rub her the right way. Which ultimately brought me to think: Is it now bad to be a "married mom" oppose to a "single mom"? Is there a thin line or is there a very thick bright line that separates how we should feel towards a single moms rants and vents? Am I wrong for my choice in who I chose to procreate with? I mean because we all have to make that choice that we have to live with for the rest of our lives. So, the question is why do I suddenly feel tricked into feeling bad for being a married mother? I didn't allow myself to continue to feel that way not even two minutes after that conversation was over because being married to the father of my child is not my fault it was my blessing and I will not feel bad about it because of someone else's shortcomings or life choices.  Has anyone else been subject to feeling bad for having help financially, physically or emotionally by single mother friends or just single friends? Is this a growing epidemic that I was unaware of or is it just me?


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